Letting Go.

Because it’s nerve wracking. And it’s the most gratifying thing in the entire world. It lets you do things you never dreamed, or things you’ve only dreamed, and it gives the world a small peek at your existence. A “Hey, I live here, too!”. It erases anxiety, makes the unknown know, turns the “what if’s?” into reality, and gives you something to be proud of. Letting go of anything is hard, but that’s what makes the reward so worth it.

Over these few days, I’ve let go of something that haunts my every move: My nervousness. The words audition, try-out, sing, and callback are surefire ways to get my heart racing and my adrenaline flowing. For some reason I’ve always been afraid of confidence, and I mentally tear down those who have it out of sheer jealousy. I tell myself I’m not good enough for that role, or for auditions, or for singing, because I let those who think they are walk all over me. And naturally they get whatever it is I’m after, because they prove they aren’t afraid to go for it. Then my self-esteem lowers even more, and I convince myself not to break from my shell again. It’s safer that way, hiding in the shadows, because nobody knows you’re there. And they can’t possibly take something from you when you have nothing to offer.

But I’m tired of living in the dark. So, when my friends said I should post a video of me singing on YouTube, that’s exactly what I did. And boy did it feel good. Not only because I was able to do something I love and share it with my friends and family, but because it inched me closer to the light. I felt the negative tension in my mind loosen with every note of the song, and I no longer cared how people perceived me. In those moments, I actually felt like I was doing something right. It’s made me happy, and seeing how happy it’s made others has made me even more happy. I’m so thankful to have the wonderful friends and family who support me in everything I do, and I’m honestly blessed. I’m glad I was able to give my support and love back to them in such a fun and rewarding way. 

My advice to anyone with a goal: Reach it. No matter where, no matter when, no matter how or why, don’t stop going for your goal until you’ve got it. Don’t let others intimidate you, don’t let your mind weigh you down, and don’t let anybody or anything tell you “No!”. Because that’s a word we use to tell someone they’re wrong. And going after your dreams is anything but.